Today's Reading - 2 Chronicles 8 & Proverbs 25

 

Like Vinegar on Soda

The Book of Proverbs advises its readers about making wise choices. It also advises us about not making unwise choices. Here in Proverbs 25:20 we are advised NOT to sing songs to someone with a heavy heart. In fact, we are cautioned about the absurdity of doing so. Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar on soda.

Have you ever struggled with what to say or do for persons experiencing a difficult time such as illness, accident, job loss, divorce or death?  This proverb describes an all-too-human problem each of us faces from time to time. We want to reach out and help those who are hurting—but the words or actions we use may unintentionally add to their burden instead of easing their pain.

Instinctively, we want to cheer up those with heavy hearts. We may think that our cheerful songs will “rub off on them” and cheer them up. But this proverb tells us that signing happy songs to struggling people can often be cruel – as cruel as taking away their coat on a cold day. This makes them feel exposed, alone, misunderstood and unprotected. It can also be inflaming – like pouring vinegar on soda which leads to an eruption. When we try to make sad people happy, our efforts to cheer them up may seem heartless and could cause an emotional outburst.

When someone is trying to come to terms with loss, rushing the process is never helpful. People need space to grieve and to process what they’re facing. So, instead of singing happy songs to a heavy heart, try just sitting with them and just listening. Pray for them. Offer words of empathy and encouragement – reminding them that the Lord is with them in the fire (Isaiah 43:2). It is okay to remain quiet if the Lord doesn’t give you words to share. If your heavy-hearted friend speaks, let them do so without judging, interrupting, or correcting them. Let them share their thoughts and name their struggles.

Just sitting with your friend tells them you feel their pain and are willing to draw close to them in time of need.  It also reminds them that the Lord sees their pain and He will never leave them. And always pray for them – pray for God’s comfort and encouragement. Trust them to the Lord, and, in due time, He will turn their “mourning into joy” (Jeremiah 31:3).