Today's Reading - Proverbs 27

Rebuke Equals Love

The word “rebuke” means to verbally reprimand. The Hebrew word can be translated as rebuke, correction, reproof, admonish, chastise. It carries the idea of pointing out a fault or failure in another person so that he/she becomes aware of it and can make a correction in their behavior. Rebuke is never intended to be condemning or judgmental. It is intended as an act of love.

Rebuking someone you love is tough medicine and no one really likes to do it. It is far easier for us to “let things slip” than to confront someone about an issue of their behavior. Nevertheless, today’s key verse tells us that true friends will show the inner love they have by being open and honest with each other – even when that openness calls for admonition or rebuke. On this matter, we can err to two extremes: excess-pleasantness and excess-harshness.

By nature, most of us are non-confrontational. We would rather keep our thoughts to ourself than to risk hostility and conflict with others. To keep a matter to yourself is the sin of excess-pleasantness. We are much more comfortable being pleasant and agreeable than we are being truly honest about another person’s faults. We must come to understand that excess-pleasantness in the face of sin is actually an indicator of a lack of love. If we truly love a person, we will recognize that our kind rebuke will bring improvement and growth to their life.

On the other hand, we also need to be careful of the sin of excess-harshness. This is where we take our duty to rebuke someone we love to the point of being hurtful or overly-critical.  Our observation about their behavior may be true enough, but if not shared with love and grace can result in hurt, hostility, and – worst of all – refusal of the other person to truly hear the message.  

So, don’t hide your love. Show it by your kind admonishment of your friend. If you shy from your duty to reprove and opt for pleasantries, they may never know that a correction must be made. If you exercise your duty too harshly, they may refuse the reproof.

Reproof given faithfully and plainly, with openness of heart, and without mincing the matter, or excusing the offense will result in winning your brother or sister and enabling them to grow in their walk with Christ. A true child of God will delight in the kindness you show to them by your rebuke. As the Psalmist wrote in Psalm 141:5, “Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it.”