Rebuke Equals Love
The
word “rebuke” means to verbally reprimand. The Hebrew word can be translated as
rebuke, correction, reproof, admonish,
chastise. It carries the idea of pointing out a
fault or failure in another person so that he/she becomes aware of it and can make
a correction in their behavior. Rebuke is never intended to be condemning or
judgmental. It is intended as an act of love.
Rebuking
someone you love is tough medicine and no one really likes to do it. It is far
easier for us to “let things slip” than to confront someone about an issue of
their behavior. Nevertheless, today’s key verse tells us that true friends will
show the inner love they have by being open and honest with each other – even
when that openness calls for admonition or rebuke. On this matter, we
can err to two extremes: excess-pleasantness and excess-harshness.
By
nature, most of us are non-confrontational. We would rather keep our thoughts
to ourself than to risk hostility and conflict with others. To keep a matter to
yourself is the sin of excess-pleasantness. We are much more comfortable being
pleasant and agreeable than we are being truly honest about another person’s
faults. We must come to understand that excess-pleasantness in the face of sin
is actually an indicator of a lack of love. If we truly love a person, we will
recognize that our kind rebuke will bring improvement and growth to their life.
On
the other hand, we also need to be careful of the sin of excess-harshness. This
is where we take our duty to rebuke someone we love to the point of being hurtful
or overly-critical. Our observation
about their behavior may be true enough, but if not shared with love and grace
can result in hurt, hostility, and – worst of all – refusal of the other person
to truly hear the message.
So,
don’t hide your love. Show it by your kind admonishment of your friend. If you
shy from your duty to reprove and opt for pleasantries, they may never know that
a correction must be made. If you exercise your duty too harshly, they may refuse
the reproof.
Reproof
given faithfully and plainly, with openness of heart, and without mincing the
matter, or excusing the offense will result in winning your brother or sister and
enabling them to grow in their walk with Christ. A true child of God will
delight in the kindness you show to them by your rebuke. As the Psalmist wrote
in Psalm 141:5, “Let
a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil
for my head; let my head not refuse it.”